I Have a Crush on EVERY Boy!

OW! MY SKIN!

Man, I love it when pop-culture just GETS me.

My skin, as a matter of fact, HURTS LIKE A BITCH. My back skin in particular. I kept on heavily failing at doubles on the one-meter, which then led me to splash on the water ON MY FRIGGIN' BACK. Also, my entries off of 7m platform got sloppy for some reason, and now my right thumb is jammed. I can't... really... rotate it.

Anyways, ever get the feeling that the dating scene (or "the playing field," as I've heard some youngsters call it) is disturbingly, eerily similar to the job market? Cover letters, resumes, interviews. That bullshit people call "going out for coffee?" Yeah, that's an interview, buddy. Not to mention I haven't ACTUALLY ever received a job offer, which means I suck at interviews AND my resume must be rather lackluster... God I hope that doesn't translate *too* well... at all, really... to my dating life. Lord knows my relationship track record... well... kinda matches my job record... OH GOD.

I wonder what one-night stands would fall under? Contract work?

OH GOD NO.

Wine: The Nap-Maker

Man! I think this is all thanks to my delicious two glasses of red wine! THANKS, WINE!

I just took such a great nap and sooo ready to attack my thesis! As a matter of fact, since waking up 5 minutes ago I've written two large paragraphs AND gone to the bathroom! I am a writing FIEND.

So much so that I felt I had to write about it in my dear diary.

Man I'm thirsty.

Advertising Fail

The other day I was at a restaurant (probably fast-food, knowing me), and I saw something that caught my eye and made me think "God I'd love to meet the geniuses behind this gem... and punch them in the face."

I can't remember it well, but it went along the lines of

X-Burger! Now with REAL beef flavor!

Congratulations, dumbfuck. What you essentially said was "Try our shit! It's now made with REAL fake stuff!"

Really guys, really?