Rima the Beloved

Ah, Rima, it had been so long since we last saw each other.

I was trying to surprise my teacher by sneaking into the building the Russian language classes are usually held, but she saw me outside of Olives. And we hugged and kissed and hugged some more, making it quite possibly awkward for the Mexican chick she was having lunch with. WHOOPS.

Anyways, ran, did abs, went to DIVING CLASS (goddamn I love that class!), lanched (clearly the past participle of lunch), and had tea with Rima oooh until FOUR PM. Came back so tired, that I passed out.

Ugh, see, this is why I love RUSSIAN language professors so much! I sent a kind, thoughtful letter in keigo (honorific speech) to my Japanese professor and asking how great it would be to practice with her once more for a speech contest, and all she replied was "I don't know the deets, check the following link:"

Uh, YEAH, I missed you too, JACKASS.

And what with all these damn articles in Japanese, I'm starting to think "Ugh, maybe I should've stuck with Russian..."

Panic

Dear Self,

Daaamn you are ooone stupid mother fucker. Did you not see how many pages of copies came out from the sources you oh-so-desperately thought was going to make you seem so damn cool as a graduate student? DIDN'T YOU!? Because let me tell you, *some* sources in Japanese *will* make you seem "cool." MANY will make you seem just damn foolish.

I'm (attempting) writing an annotated bibliography for all my sources, so far I have around 25 sources, and those are JUST THE JAPANESE ONES. I've spent the ENTIRE DAY JUST LOOKING UP HOW TO WRITE THEIR DAMN NAMES...

Oh, also, I ask you to prepare yourself for the amount of all-caps that's about to occur...

HOW THE DAMNEDEST FUCK DOES A LANGUAGE EXIST WHERE YOU *CAN NEVER BE FUCKING SURE HOW TO READ A GODDAMN FUCKING NAME!?!?* What the FUCK were you thinking, Japanese!?!? Please, can you have ONE FUCKING READING for 紀子!? The TEN FUCKING READINGS on jisho.org doesn't exactly help my writing process. FUCK YOU OMG FUCK YOU JAPANESE.

But I suppose I should be mad at myself, for being the IDIOT that didn't even bother to read ahead of fall quarter to already have all these damn sources annotated! God I think I'm screwed... HELP ME JEEBUS!

AND I have my meeting with my advisor on Wednesday... that oughta be fun...

Housewarming

Went to a housewarming yesterday in Palo Alto. It was pretty homosexual. I think 95% of the dudes were dude-lovers, and the remaining 5% bi-curious. Odd how the older I get, the more homosexual my friends become. I think my only straight close friend is Jason... huh...

Anywho, my friend Larry and I parked right outside the house before we realized "Oh shit, it's a housewarming party, isn't it?" and felt like utter douches for not bringing anything of any worth. Luckily, there was a Whole Foods a couple blocks down, I got a carrot cake (which was for Erik, but apparently he's allergic to nuts so it was mainly just for me) and Lar got the beer. I wasn't drinking that night, so I thought carrot cake was the best option for me, what with being president of the FKC and all...

Until of course the slightest bit of peer pressure was applied and I succumbed to a bacchanalia of sangria, ginger-infused rum, and jello shots. Also had pizza and cake. Man, this diet thing is *really* not working out for me. How am I supposed to fit in my speedos come Tuesday, when we/I have my first diving class!? Gotta make sure to do extra situps come Monday...

That's besides the point. Point is, hopefully I'm getting Lars introduced to enough gay people that don't just exclusively want to do him in the butt and slowly but surely vnyesti'ing him in the gay community. Welcome! Don't mind the leather chaps...

I can see Russia from my house!

And by Russia I mean Euromart. The Russian store in Palo Alto that was always just a little too far from campus for me to go to when I was living *on* campus, but now, I live FREAKING 5 MINUTES AWAY FROM IT ON FOOT. Oh my god. And on the first run I was a little too excited to just be getting food (cuz I was hungry) but apparently they didn't make food in the kitchen, so I just had to settle for FOUR POUNDS OF PELMENI.

Ah... to be eating an entire bowl of pelmeni made with pripravka and slathered in smetana... mmm...

So apparently pelmeni is a bit expensive around these parts. The four pounds ran me $25 at $6.99 the pound. Youch. Whatever, it's a good investment. I'll have pelmeni every weekend when I can't bike to campus because I'm a lazy bastard. And that's just every weekend.

Damn... I didn't get the ketchup that I saw that I really liked though... I just passed it as I was leaving, and now I'm left with half a liter of sour cream. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HALF A LITER OF SOUR CREAM!? I wonder how quickly sour cream spoils... please not anytime soon!

"You've already impressed me"

Cutest. Thing. EVER. I think this guy must have bought a book on how to woo other guys. Too bad I'm immune to such sweet talk. But anyways...

I hesitated taking off my pants because I have tiny skivvies on (blue briefs) and I told Sara and Joel that I didn't really want to take off my pants (I was crashing on Sara's couch last night) because I was embarrassed by said skivvies. I said "I wanted to make a good impression, impressions are everything!" which was then followed by a softly spoken

"but you've already impressed me"

PARA COMÉRMELO! Too adorable.

Anyways, apart from that I partied with B-school peeps and gay latinos (see!? why couldn't I make gay latino friends this easily in Miami!? ugh, stupid Miami...) after having chilled at Lawrence's and eating schawerma, preceeded by the LGBT-CRCBBQLOLWTFOMG...BBQ. It was really fun! Not *too* many cute guys, but then again we're all just normal, right? Not like those LA gays... oy vey. And got to see Misha once more! I swear, if you want me to bond with you like none other, have a dog. Have a huge, gorgeous, Muscovite dog. And I'll play with him forevaaaz.

And now... to go to the pool, tan, go to brunch, come back, work on my paper a bit, and then go to a housewarming. w00t!

...*sigh*... worst. grad student. ever.

Chinese Man in Closet

Now before I begin, let me get rid of the joke you probably have in the back of your mind right now:

"Lulz omg bring him out! You gotta teach him the way of the gay! Lulz again"

Ok, now that we're done with that, there is a Chinese man literally living in *the* closet. Not to be confused with *my* closet because 1) I don't even have a closet of my own here and 2) he's not in the same room as me. He sleeps in the closet of the trailer portion of the mobile home and I sleep in the addendum. But as you can imagine, I was quite taken aback when I realized this man sleeps in a space of I'd say 2' x 5'.

Nevertheless, "Jimmy" is a really great guy. A bit talkative, perhaps. He'll just come into my room and say "HEY WILSON!" and then just stand there looking at me for just long enough to begin to make things awkward and then say "How are you!?" He's quite the character though. Favorite topics include "Why you no have girlfriend?" and "Japan so nice, but so expensive! sooo expensive!" Hehehe... he makes me giggle.

He's extremely friendly and helpful. He gave me a ride the other day to the store cuz I needed random crap and he obliged, and left me some extremely delicious (I think it was eggplant) pasta that he bought but "was tooooo much for me." Also, everything in quotations should be said with a stereotypical Chinese accent, btw. And I had delicious pasta after a great workout at the gym.

Imma like living here :)

Die Deutsche Demokratische Republik

Actually, I lied.

I don't think the new Facebook is creepy. I think. it's. AWESOME.

It sort of reminds me of the German movie The Lives of Others, where that Stasi guy listens in on the suspected playwright because some bigwig wants to get with the playwright's chick. And I'M THAT GUY. The Stasi one. Also, it reminds me of the entirety of the Soviet Union. Sending a tape of Christmas songs to Grandma? BAM, REJECTED! Now go back to the red corner and pray to LENIN, buddy, not this "Jesús" guy you keep talking about.

Well, I suppose I can't *really* do much in the way of meddling in other people's lives short of "liking" everyone's statuses. ...or CAN I?

Perhaps I shall keep a close record of all your little indiscretions, dear Facebook friends of mine. And shall I ever need your help, and I notice the slightest hint of hesitation, oh, wait, is that a photo of you buying crack off a bum on the street whilst raping an aborted fetus? I THOUGHT SO.

Um... just so we're clear, I'm not a fascist.

Grad Student: UR DOIN IT WRONG

I'm pretty sure I'm *the* worst grad student ever. Aren't grad students supposed to never sleep? Be bleary-eyed when they wake up at 8am after an hour of sleep because of all the research they've been doing?

I wake up late, go to sleep early, and worst of all, when I'm doing research I always take about a 1-2 hour nap. I... I think I have a problem. Not to mention the research that I'm doing is *technically* really exciting, there's no reason why it shouldn't be! Heck, I CHOSE the damn thing! But something about reading endless pages of Japanese just makes all the characters dance before my eyes with a quiet, ever so annoying taunt "yooou caaan't reeead me, nanny nanny boo boo!"

In OTHER news, instead of the research I'm supposed to be doing I spent the majority of the day writing this Russian exam. Just a quick 1-2 page essay on what jihad is and how the views of the American people and government changed towards jihad post-9/11. Yeah, pfft, no biggie. Oh, wait, so, like, Arabs and Muslims and Brown People are all the same, right?

Oh, right.

...

shit.

WELP! Back to the books, kids.

Leprosy

i tink i haz it.

Pretty sure that nice, sizeable chunk of skin on the right side of my left pinky was doing just fine ON the pinky a day or two ago. How I managed to lose said skin, well, that's anybody's guess.

I wonder if this had to do with the scratch I got from the protruding nail in the bathroom after I got out of the shower in my mobile home.

YES, IT'S A MOBILE HOME, NOT A TRAILER. Hmph!

Americans

Jesus fuck-Christ, Americans, WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN TALL!? As if my dating pool isn't small enough as it is already, it's halved and then some by the fact that I can't get with guys TWO TIMES MY HEIGHT.

Ugh, I guess it's back to gymnasts and wrestlers again. #firstworldproblems

Thesis Day #2

Well, I took the Russian test! It took 1 hour exactly, just as I had hoped. Only... with a two-hour break in between for lunch with Lydia and her stupid cute boyfriend (I'm not bitter) and an hour long chat session with people who sympathize with me on just how painful it is to be a graduate bachelor. All the damn frosh are all giddy and high-fiving each other on the streets and all your older, not-in-academia friends are in loving relationships which you know are loving because of the amount of disgustingly cute photos they post on facebook of them kissing/hugging/fisting each other. Oh, and they just got engaged. Or married.

Fuck you, Facebook, why'd you ever have to even that relationship status function!?

Oh! And now to read this ONE article in Japanese. At this rate, the thesis will be dooooone... once the freshmen graduate.