I Have a Crush on EVERY Boy!

OW! MY SKIN!

Man, I love it when pop-culture just GETS me.

My skin, as a matter of fact, HURTS LIKE A BITCH. My back skin in particular. I kept on heavily failing at doubles on the one-meter, which then led me to splash on the water ON MY FRIGGIN' BACK. Also, my entries off of 7m platform got sloppy for some reason, and now my right thumb is jammed. I can't... really... rotate it.

Anyways, ever get the feeling that the dating scene (or "the playing field," as I've heard some youngsters call it) is disturbingly, eerily similar to the job market? Cover letters, resumes, interviews. That bullshit people call "going out for coffee?" Yeah, that's an interview, buddy. Not to mention I haven't ACTUALLY ever received a job offer, which means I suck at interviews AND my resume must be rather lackluster... God I hope that doesn't translate *too* well... at all, really... to my dating life. Lord knows my relationship track record... well... kinda matches my job record... OH GOD.

I wonder what one-night stands would fall under? Contract work?

OH GOD NO.

Wine: The Nap-Maker

Man! I think this is all thanks to my delicious two glasses of red wine! THANKS, WINE!

I just took such a great nap and sooo ready to attack my thesis! As a matter of fact, since waking up 5 minutes ago I've written two large paragraphs AND gone to the bathroom! I am a writing FIEND.

So much so that I felt I had to write about it in my dear diary.

Man I'm thirsty.

Advertising Fail

The other day I was at a restaurant (probably fast-food, knowing me), and I saw something that caught my eye and made me think "God I'd love to meet the geniuses behind this gem... and punch them in the face."

I can't remember it well, but it went along the lines of

X-Burger! Now with REAL beef flavor!

Congratulations, dumbfuck. What you essentially said was "Try our shit! It's now made with REAL fake stuff!"

Really guys, really?

Funk-ay

So apparently I'm in a funk. So has told me two people over the past week. I don't seem as genki probably as I usually am.

But that's so weird! Why on earth would I be funk-ay? I have no reason to be! As a matter of fact, I DO thoroughly enjoy the fact that I literally have no real classes and only have to wake up early (and by "early" I mean 7:30am) on Tuesdays and Thursdays to head to the gym early before my DIVING CLASS. Yeah, that's right, I TAKE DIVING. So, from my end, I'm actually as happy as happy can get, so I really don't see what these people are talking about.

Perhaps there's something lying beneath that belies my funk-ayness. The job hunt has been thoroughly frustrating, which has made a huge dent in my self-confidence. I look at my resume, then at all the job postings that they have on the internetz and I just sigh and lament my own inexperience and lack of foresight when I was an undergrad doing what I loved to do most: languages.

However, I *am* looking into positions that will have me be assistants to people. I LOVE assisting people! It's what I do best! I like to make sure everyone's happy all the time and I can carry a helluva conversation with whomever! Also, I'm FREAKING BUBBLY AS FREAK. WHO WOULDN'T HIRE ME!?

I guess the funk also comes from my not advancing so much on my thesis. It's going, slowly but surely, I just wish I wrote faster and were able to be more eloquent than my stupid ESL-ass is at current point in time. I have a lot of social commitments, but then every once in a while I can't commit because I have the thesis, so I end up feeling as if I'm sacrificing both for nothing in return.

Anyways, hopefully everything will be figured out come December.

B.O.

Unlike BBDO, this acronym is of something far more nefarious.

You know, I woke up yesterday and, before heading to school, performed a pre-departure check which consisted of me asking myself "I don't smell TOO bad, do I?"

Ugh, kids, listen, don't be a grad student. Just... just don't. Graduate and go do something awesome with your lives.

However, I would like to say that as a matter of fact, no I did NOT smell too bad that day. But kharma, or whatever you may call it, came to hit me back in the face like a sack of bricks at the gym when this white guy came prancing all around with a B.O. that can knock out a very small mammalian. Seriously, dude, deodorant. It's not expensive.

Not to mention, I've been smelling some horridly-smelling underclassmen as of late. That's prime graduate student material right there. I just take a look at them, take a whiff of them, and go "Yup, you're going to grad school."

Gaaah can't wait to actually do something with my life! Days to graduation: Less than two months!

Thesis Writing

Hey no one that's listening.

11 whole days have passed since I last wrote something on this blog! Coincidentally enough, the most stuff always happens to me when I write the least. Well, maybe not that much. Anyways, I would go into vivid detail here... were it not for the fact that I have a thesis to write.

That's right, kids! I'm actually taking the initiative and slowly but surely writing this mofo to completion! I have already passed 20 pages! Aren't you proud of me??? Just another 30 more and I should be good to go...

...

Gaaah! Who am I kidding!? I'll never get this paper done! Half of those 20 pages was me just trying to adapt a previously written paper to the current topic. EFFF! It's all really, REALLY rough. Perhaps

Never mind. Every time I say "Perhaps I should X," I just set myself up for failure. Makes me think I'll never be an adult... Although... whenever I tell myself "Perhaps I should listen to J-Pop for JUST 5 minutes...," I have the tendency to go above and beyond and listen to it for hours while learning lyrics to music that is the Japanese equivalent of teenie bop. "I like yooou. I think you're cuuute. You should date meee." and the like.

Yes, this is me being a grad student.

Zachary Quinto and the Grad Student Diaspora

w00t w000000t! Zachary Quinto is GAY, muthafuckas! Another point for the Queen Dream Team. Hopefully, my mother is now slightly more convinced that gay people don't actually look like this all the time.

Man, I love his look. Great jawline, thick eyebrows. Truly a tall, dark, and handsome man. Now to find myself one of these men...

In other news, I don't think I'm being a good grad student. AGAIN. Literally the only thing I've been thinking about this entire week is sex and food. And how I can procure the maximum amount of either object with the least amount of effort. Huh... I think this is how the whole "junk in a watermelon" thing came about...

Amazing how man's greatest feats are only out of desperation to do less work. Oh how the mighty have fallen...