Brazil: Like a bigger Miami

And what else was I expecting, exactly?

I always tend to make comparisons of my home town to Russia, saying that Russia is like a Miami but with an actual winter, and the people are lighter. However, Rio de Janeiro is, unfortunately, very, very similar to Miami. Only cheaper. Which, hey, I'm all for. Also, everyone here is Brazilian as opposed to Cuban (read: hotter). So, apart from the frustration of not speaking Portuguese, this place is practically home.

Oh, wait, there are some mountains and stuff, too.

Don't get me wrong, the only reason I say "unfortunately" is because none of it really surprises me. The churros, the cocos sold with a straw in them, the delicious meat/beans/rice combo, the laid back attitude, the beaches. It's all on South Beach. Nevertheless, I'd venture to say that this place is BETTER than Miami. Why? Cuz everything seems like Miami 2.0. People are so laid back, there are always people at the beach, or listening to samba at a random corner in the streets and smoking pot in the open. Things are so cheap, I can stuff myself for 11 reais ($6.20) (and that's at the more expensive juice bar in the middle of Ipanema). And people are so hot, that I'm probably REALLY annoying my friend that I'm visiting by always being like "omg look over there. I'm about to lose it." ALL THE TIME.

Life is hard.

Oh, if only there was a way to convince the government to let me come study here... hmmm... oh yeah... well, we'll put that idea to a side for now. I DO have to start working, after all (and a big fuck you to that NYT article for making me feel bad about not working, and thanks The Atlantic, for appeasing my fears), and if I'm abroad on someone else's money for one more year, then... wait, what's wrong with that again? Oh yeah, Catholic guilt. (insert *fuck you* here for my Hispanic Roman Catholic upbringing)

But to update you on some stuff. I'm been here 3 days, I went to the beach for 2, and we're going again on this 4th day. I'm pretty sure I'll be black by the time I get back to the States (oops, sorry, I was supposed to say "African American," huh?). Also went to a market, Jesus Christ, and Sugar Loaf. The yuzh. Oh, and watched Inception. FOR THE THIRD TIME. That movie has become a useful language tool for me, btw. Watched it first in Russian, then in Miami, now in Rio with Portuguese subtitles. Tonight, we'll be souvenir shopping, going to the Jardim Botanico, and a gay club. Oh, Ipanema is to Rio as Castro is to SF as South Beach is to Miami. And the street one block away is like Market/Lincoln Road, respectively. Maybe I SHOULD move here. It's practically home.

One thing I do find refreshing is the absolute equality amongst races. I mean, again, same as blacks in the Latin Caribbean countries, but here as well it's not different. At all. One thing I hate about America is how everyone talks about equality yet there are clearly some very distinct differences in how we treat blacks vs. whites, and how Hispanics have to be white-washed in order to "make it" in America. But here, the color spectrum is much more a spectrum than polarities, and I don't know what else to say other than it's perfectly normal. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure if a Brazilian read what I wrote he/she'd come up with the question "Why are you talking about this? Does it matter?" Oh buddy, how I wish it didn't back where I come from.

I'll give you guys some pictures once I'm back in the States. For 12 hours.

Also, looking outside my window, DAMN there are a lot of seagulls.

Russia: Encounters

I love Russia for its random encounters. Because here, when people are looking to have a good time (not 867-5309 good time, but just a good ol’ time), they just come up to you and go “Hey, you look like I like you. Want to drink?” My goodness, Wilson, surely you jest.

No, people. I’z fo’ realz.

It was the last day of Andrew’s stay in Russia, so clearly we decided to otmetit’ it with a last round of beers in the café in the back of Torgoviye Ryady. It was somewhat of the usual crowd, Andrew, Katya, Zachary, Tyler, Travis (Kasey was missing) and I around a table of Beliy Medved’. I, of course, bought Andrew a beer because he’s probably the most soul-matest person I have ever met on any abroad program. It’s really rather creepy how much we think alike. The only difference is, well, he’s white and I’m Latino, and I can smell a white person from a mile away.

But I digress. Given my age and my cheapstake-ness, I did not want to pay for a taxi home, so I decided to go home early (10:30) on bus that would cost 10 rubles (30 cents). While waiting for a bus, two rather moderately attractive girls stood next to me. And once again, my instinct (or is it intuition?) kicks in. “These girls are attractive. They’re about to be approached by guys.” Bam. Two minutes later, surely enough, two guys come up to them and are like “Hey grl hey (ok, well, maybe not like that entirely), come hang out with us. Where you got to go? Come take a ride with us. Drink with us.” After repeated male attempts and repetitious girly giggles, the girls refused the two young men and went on their bus and on their merry way.

I was slightly bemused by the interaction, if only because I’ve witnessed so many of said interactions before. What I didn’t expect, however, was for them to turn to me and say, “Hey man, wana drink?” One of the guys proceeded to offer me a beer, explaining/complaining that his buddy wasn’t drinking because he was behind the wheel. I refused, of course, because I didn’t want to get my ass kicked (should this be a set-up). But the dude reassured me that they were not Nazis, and that they were just bored, riding around town, just looking to hang out with people and talk with them. Hrm… I thought to myself. Then they said that they would take me home for free. This is about the time when the last bus passed right in front of my face.

Um, yes sir.

Well, rewind a little bit. I thought to myself “What would my program say if I accepted an offer to ride in a car with two strangers, one of who was drunk, and I who was perfectly alone late at night with computer, iPod, and camera in my bag, and making the decision to drink further?” Uuuh...

So quite naturally I did it.

I mean, I’m no fool, I’m a pretty good judge of character. So we went on our merry way and drove around, stopped close by my house, went into a store for more beers (I treated them that time, they really turned out to be awesome fellows), talked more, smoked cigarettes, ate chips, listened to Ruki Vverkh loudly, and talked about America vs. Russia and any number of topics already discussed in my time here in Russia. One of the guys was 27, married with a daughter, and his buddy was 24 and, well, drunk.

Then they dropped me off, we exchanged formalities and parted ways. Just like that. No “Omgodibbles, I love you let’s hang out forever.” Just manly convo accompanied by manly beer and the intermittent bursts of laughter when I showed my mastery of Russian cursing (why yes, I will brush it off mah shouldaz). And then I entered my house, as content as a little Wilson-y clam could be. What's not to love about the entire ordeal?

Speaking of encounters, when I got in and ate a very late dinner, I decided to approach my host mother with a rather…. random question. “Host mom, if aliens came to this earth right now, how would you feel about them?” The response was really, REALLY unexpected, seeing as how she went on a ten minute rant about how her sister told her she was abducted by aliens and my host mom herself thought that she might have been taken at one point in time as well. “I’m crazy, I know," she said, "and there’s a reason for it.”

Oddly enough though, I bought into her sister’s story, although not her own. A bit off tangent but, apparently, there’s also been a case where a Russian governor of a city, a well-to-do man, moderately wealthy, chess champion of his oblast’ when he was younger, therefore, a rather sharp fellow, stated to the press that he was abducted by aliens. People asked him if it would affect his performance. He said no. They said “Ok, then continue working.” Such is the state of UFO’s and alien conspiracies in Russia, folks. But this discussion is much too long for this blog post, so I will cease and desist riiight… now.

Regardless, it is interesting to note that alien abductions don't just happen in the great plains of the Midwest, but also in the Russian small cities of Podmoskovy'e and Vladimirskaya Oblast'. I, for one, wish I could have that sort of encounter in Russia as well, and not just encounters with the locals. I say that just because, were I to be abducted by aliens, I'd ask them nicely to zap my brain with the ability to use all 100% of it and learn hella languages and be an ultra-cool secret spy with knowledge of all branches of the martial arts.

*sigh* a boy can dream, though... a boy can dream...

Russia: Smoke

First of all:

In nice, big, in yo' face letters: SMOKING KILLS.

Russians love to smoke. I smoke. You smoke. Host papa smokes. Hell, even host baby lights up every once in a while.

OR SO I THOUGHT.

It's odd, but smoking is slowly but surely losing its appeal here in Russia. Or at least that the way it seems to me. Maybe Vladimir is different from its capital cities of Petersburg and Russia, but a lot of the youth nowadays are going straightedge. I.e. no smoking, no drinking.

WHAT!?, you might ask?

Well, it's also no surprise that Russians love to drink. And those who love to drink, especially men, tend to go too far. Actually, they always go too far. Speaking from experience of having drunk with a number of Russians, the majority of the young 'uns who drink like to force themselves onto women and trash shit like it's their prerogative. *sigh*, Russian men. Not to mention, there are a lot of families that have had alcoholic fathers, and it seems that the youth is finally beginning to understand that perhaps drinking is not all it's cracked up to be.

Oh, also, moderation is out of the question. I've told Russians "Well, just do it in moderation." Response? "Our country knows no moderation."

Same for smoking. Russian teeth are kind of like British teeth. REALLY BAD. And now the connection between tea every day and cigarettes and bad teeth is finally starting to sink in as well. We'll see where that goes. Also, let's see where that gets us in the winter. The one thing that kept me warm on the way to school in Moscow in November was cigarettes. Beautiful, caring cigarettes. Really, it was the only thing that really loved me or understood me at all that fall...

Speaking of smoke, holy hell. Russia's going up in smoke, kids. State of emergency has already been declared in Moskovskaya Oblast' (that's where Moscow is) and Vladimirskaya Oblast' (guess where that one is...). But please, don't let me be the one to tell you. See for yourself.

Isn't this gorgeous? It's like a nice, early morning fog in San Francisco, right?

Wrong.

It's Vladimir. At 4PM. And that's not fog. At all. It's all smoke.

Katarzyna too famous to be taken photos of by the paparazzi.

Masks. Delicious.

Don't... really... know what Megan's doing there...

Awww, biffles fo' life! And then smoke.

Anywho, there are rumors being spread that we may be evacuated back to America. I don't really know if it's going to go through, but I kind of hope it doesn't. Granted, it's crappy here right now, but there's only two weeks left! That's like, not even a lot of weeks! But some people have already been dropping like flies, using laaame excuses such as "I can't breathe" or "I can't see where I'm going." Pfft, amateurs.

Man, I miss California.

So yeah, the smoke is being caused by peat. Who knew that that still existed? I thought it had gone extinct. I thought we killed that eons ago. But no. It's back. And with a vengeance. That stuff burns underground, so you can't just pour water on it. And if you dig it up to put water, oxygen gets in there, making the situation worse. So... there's not much you can do right now with it, which sucks. But let it be known that papa Medvedev is doing his best to keep the situation under control.

Man, I miss California.