Russia: Encounters

I love Russia for its random encounters. Because here, when people are looking to have a good time (not 867-5309 good time, but just a good ol’ time), they just come up to you and go “Hey, you look like I like you. Want to drink?” My goodness, Wilson, surely you jest.

No, people. I’z fo’ realz.

It was the last day of Andrew’s stay in Russia, so clearly we decided to otmetit’ it with a last round of beers in the café in the back of Torgoviye Ryady. It was somewhat of the usual crowd, Andrew, Katya, Zachary, Tyler, Travis (Kasey was missing) and I around a table of Beliy Medved’. I, of course, bought Andrew a beer because he’s probably the most soul-matest person I have ever met on any abroad program. It’s really rather creepy how much we think alike. The only difference is, well, he’s white and I’m Latino, and I can smell a white person from a mile away.

But I digress. Given my age and my cheapstake-ness, I did not want to pay for a taxi home, so I decided to go home early (10:30) on bus that would cost 10 rubles (30 cents). While waiting for a bus, two rather moderately attractive girls stood next to me. And once again, my instinct (or is it intuition?) kicks in. “These girls are attractive. They’re about to be approached by guys.” Bam. Two minutes later, surely enough, two guys come up to them and are like “Hey grl hey (ok, well, maybe not like that entirely), come hang out with us. Where you got to go? Come take a ride with us. Drink with us.” After repeated male attempts and repetitious girly giggles, the girls refused the two young men and went on their bus and on their merry way.

I was slightly bemused by the interaction, if only because I’ve witnessed so many of said interactions before. What I didn’t expect, however, was for them to turn to me and say, “Hey man, wana drink?” One of the guys proceeded to offer me a beer, explaining/complaining that his buddy wasn’t drinking because he was behind the wheel. I refused, of course, because I didn’t want to get my ass kicked (should this be a set-up). But the dude reassured me that they were not Nazis, and that they were just bored, riding around town, just looking to hang out with people and talk with them. Hrm… I thought to myself. Then they said that they would take me home for free. This is about the time when the last bus passed right in front of my face.

Um, yes sir.

Well, rewind a little bit. I thought to myself “What would my program say if I accepted an offer to ride in a car with two strangers, one of who was drunk, and I who was perfectly alone late at night with computer, iPod, and camera in my bag, and making the decision to drink further?” Uuuh...

So quite naturally I did it.

I mean, I’m no fool, I’m a pretty good judge of character. So we went on our merry way and drove around, stopped close by my house, went into a store for more beers (I treated them that time, they really turned out to be awesome fellows), talked more, smoked cigarettes, ate chips, listened to Ruki Vverkh loudly, and talked about America vs. Russia and any number of topics already discussed in my time here in Russia. One of the guys was 27, married with a daughter, and his buddy was 24 and, well, drunk.

Then they dropped me off, we exchanged formalities and parted ways. Just like that. No “Omgodibbles, I love you let’s hang out forever.” Just manly convo accompanied by manly beer and the intermittent bursts of laughter when I showed my mastery of Russian cursing (why yes, I will brush it off mah shouldaz). And then I entered my house, as content as a little Wilson-y clam could be. What's not to love about the entire ordeal?

Speaking of encounters, when I got in and ate a very late dinner, I decided to approach my host mother with a rather…. random question. “Host mom, if aliens came to this earth right now, how would you feel about them?” The response was really, REALLY unexpected, seeing as how she went on a ten minute rant about how her sister told her she was abducted by aliens and my host mom herself thought that she might have been taken at one point in time as well. “I’m crazy, I know," she said, "and there’s a reason for it.”

Oddly enough though, I bought into her sister’s story, although not her own. A bit off tangent but, apparently, there’s also been a case where a Russian governor of a city, a well-to-do man, moderately wealthy, chess champion of his oblast’ when he was younger, therefore, a rather sharp fellow, stated to the press that he was abducted by aliens. People asked him if it would affect his performance. He said no. They said “Ok, then continue working.” Such is the state of UFO’s and alien conspiracies in Russia, folks. But this discussion is much too long for this blog post, so I will cease and desist riiight… now.

Regardless, it is interesting to note that alien abductions don't just happen in the great plains of the Midwest, but also in the Russian small cities of Podmoskovy'e and Vladimirskaya Oblast'. I, for one, wish I could have that sort of encounter in Russia as well, and not just encounters with the locals. I say that just because, were I to be abducted by aliens, I'd ask them nicely to zap my brain with the ability to use all 100% of it and learn hella languages and be an ultra-cool secret spy with knowledge of all branches of the martial arts.

*sigh* a boy can dream, though... a boy can dream...