The gym, in America, just another gay church where homosexuals grudgingly go to work out in the faint hope that he should attract a mate while pedaling furiously at his exercise bike or taking a sweat in the sauna. But not in Japan! First, because teh gayz don't exist here, and second, because we do it for health reasons, fo realz.
I, of course, still need to look good for when I step on American soil once again (that can actually be done within a 30 minute train ride from here though. Military base in Yokosuka. Military fetish, anyone?), so I decided to join a gym. As intimidated as I was by not knowing anyone and having to sign contracts in Japanese and fill out a form as to how regular my bowel movements are (try pointing at the Japanese word for "constipation" and asking what it is, have the lady tell you "it's when your intestines goes 'kapoople'" and maintain your dignity), it seemed rather that everyone was intimidated by me.
Luckily for me, only the most attractive/ripped of Japanese men approach me, saying "Ooo, what kind of sports do you do? You so muscly!" Tee hee! And then they touch me. My arms, that is. Still don't know how to feel about that... Regardless, initially I was saddened to see that everyone in the gym knew each other and that I'd never be able to break that barrier and be "in the know." That is, until word got out that THERE'S A FOREIGNER IN THEIR MIDST!
THAT'S RIGHT, ME! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! J/kizzles, though, no one was actually afraid of me. They just thought I was a hapa (half-Asian, half-something else) or Okinawan, but once they found out I spoke English, everyone who ever did study abroad in America came out of the woodworks and began talking to me. Even though their English was flawless, they'd occasionally turn back to Japanese and expected me to answer back in Japanese as well (much to my chagrin).
Anyways, that's for next post. For now I just want to point out that the reason why gay people don't exist in the gym is because of the gym showers. Now, sure, in America we also have saunas and showers in our gyms, but we don't have o-furo. O-furo is a bit like a large jacuzzi, maintained at 40-42 degrees Centigrade, and any number of naked Japanese men can fit into one at one time. Now, for the average American, getting naked in front of everyone and just walking around, rockin' out with your cock out is not exactly... appealing. Buuut I'm Wilson and Colombian and a nudist and a "naturist" so I'm perfectly fine prancing around naked like a dirty hippie. Only I hate dirty hippies cuz I keep clean.
Therefore, when Te-chan sat next to me in this man jacuzzi and began to squeeze my arm, I was like "OMG CAN YOU EVEN DO THAT!? IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED!?" My American cultural radar was off the charts, with that "toot toot" steam sound that accompanies the erratic needle and cracking glass. Buddy, if you were in America, I'm pretty sure everyone would be kicking your ass right about now. But we're not, and he's sincerely befuddled by my large arms, so I was just like "huh, so that's how it is."
Japanese gyms... man what a site of cultural interest. I'll probably be talking much more about it later because man it's weird.
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий