The Job Hunt

And here I was thinking the only thing I had to worry about was the thesis. lawlzsauce.

A departmental e-mail stated "Oh lookz! Bain haz info session. Y'all go." Mk, might as well see what this is like. I was looking for jobs in the private sector anyways...

With one event after another of "WE LURVE GAY PPL WORK 4 UUUS!" and "LATINOS 4 HIRE!" and "No business background? NO WORRY!" I was like "Oh sweet! All right, maybe I will adapt my government resume and put a consulting twist on it." After all, it seems like most Stanfordian students who are not strictly tech go into consulting anyway, am I right or am I right? Oramiright?

And then comes the suggestions on how to shine in your cover letter/resume. "Yeah just be sure to list all internships you've had since birth." Oops... I spent all my time abroad drinking with foreigners. "Make sure you talk about how you like teaching the blind how to read." Um... did not know I had to be Mother Teresa, too.

And the one word I hate the F**KING MOST in these apps "Demonstrate your LEADERSHIP skills." Leadership? LEADERSHIP!? It's like all these companies are shitting themselves in their pants to build this army of nothing but leaders when, in reality, once they get hired they're just the companies little slaves that get raped in the butt on a daily basis (with 8+ hours the day). Now, if you want me to show my buttsecks credentials, by all means! Just don't lie and pretend like you want leaders when all you want are minions to carry out your every whim.

Whatever. In the middle of writing this blog Lars and I went gay clubbing in San Jose. I actually liked it a bit more than San Francisco. More space to dance, GREAT music (all SF ever plays is shitty house music), TVs to oggle at... of course not many attractive people in the club, but hey, SF isn't famous for its attractive people either. Which made me come to the conclusion, the only people who frequent a club is people who couldn't attract a freaking leper on the outside. Good thing *I* was there to prove them wrong! ...

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OHGODNO! *runs away crying*